It seems that several times each year, media coverage focuses on who have recently died. Only days ago, reports broke of Glee star Cory Monteith tragically passing from a drug overdose. Earlier this summer, Faye Hunter (an alternative rocker who enjoyed a smattering of success in the 1990’s) committed suicide, presumably despondent over a musical career long-gone. Still fresh in the minds of those within the music world is the death of singer Amy Winehouse from alcohol poisoning. These people were award-winning celebrities who enjoyed praise from fans, respect from critics, and international fame. But clearly the perks of stardom and the gratification of artistic expression aren’t enough to fill the human heart. When public figures self-destruct it is a vivid reminder that beginning as early in life as possible, individuals need to develop healthy perspectives on their value as a human being.
Amy Winehouse, for example, had become part of a group of performers that some call “Club 27.” These musical firebrands partied hard, burned out early, and died at age 27 (other famous names on the list include Hendrix, Joplin, Morrison, Cobain). Winehouse seemed to truly be on a path of intentional destruction. Her journey over the last few years included habitual drunkenness, drug use, erratic public performances⎯ not to mention shocking changes in appearance. Amy Winehouse had many things that people would assume should amount to happiness⎯ yet it was clear that she was unfulfilled.
Such celebrity passings can be an opportunity to talk about some of the basic realities about what it means to be human. Though they may not say it in these words, all people seek acceptance, significance, and security. We all want to feel like we have value as a person and that our life has meaning. Our pursuits for solid answers to the heart’s deep longings may tempt us to do things that can be personally detrimental. The quest to fill the heart can lead to destruction of the body in which that heart (and soul) are housed.
Lindsey Lohan is not yet 30, but when paparazzi capture her in a non-photo shopped moment, it is clear that years of fast living have not been kind to her. After working with countless people through two decades of ministry, I have interacted with many people who wore themselves down and burned themselves out because they did not know where their true worth lay. I believe that it is important for people of all ages (and especially youth) to find personal worth, value, and meaning in appropriate places. The natural longings of the human mind and soul should be answered in ways that are not destructive to the individual.
A godly, healthy perspective in a “world about me”
For a Christian, there are clear and tangible reasons to feel OK about who they are. Your teen’s understanding of his own worth should be grounded on (and bolstered by) the following realities:
1. By the fact that they are made in God’s image;
2. In the awareness that Jesus personally cares about them;
3. Through the unconditional love present in your home;
4. Through the accepting haven provided by one’s church;
5. In their true status as a resident (and heir) of heaven;
6. In the confidence that God truly has a plan for their life.
These truths can be a great source of encouragement, but we know that emotions don’t automatically “catch up” to the facts that we hold in our mind. Self-esteem issues often feed on irrationality. We must vigilantly pursue an honest view of ourselves, of our circumstances, and of God. Feelings of insecurity (which can lead to unhealthy behaviors) should not ‘trump’ the facts (that we are made in God’s image and are complete in Him Christ).
For the Christian, one’s self-esteem is grounded in things outside of themselves (see Colossians 2:8-9). Of the six realities listed above, none lead us to find our value by comparing ourselves to others. Somebody will always come along who is prettier, a better athlete, wealthier, or who has a higher GPA. In a world of more than six billion people, that’s inevitable.
Approach life as a competition, and it doesn’t take long to realize that we all eventually get left in the dust of the next fastest runner. The comfort is in knowing that we are a priority to Christ.
Tragic lives like that of Cory Monteith are reminders that people of all ages need a clear understanding of Who Jesus is, and a personal experience of His love and care. This provides lasting purpose and clear direction⎯ even to those traversing the heady, challenging, and sometimes “tooth-and-claw” years of adolescence.
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